I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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