my sisters under your porch take her home
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
