Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
