I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
