So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
