Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
