I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Randomize
