I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
