we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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