my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
