I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize