Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
