He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize