Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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