This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am