Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
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This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
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We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..