ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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