those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize