Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
