Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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