I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
