His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
