It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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