it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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