maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Quick, to the slutcave!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
