curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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