So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
