You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
