every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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