hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Two words: nipple clamps
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