thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
