EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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