im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You can't motorboat a personality
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
