I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
