can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
