now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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