And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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