Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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