you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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