we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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