Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize