he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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