my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
