were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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