Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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