when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Randomize
