What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
