I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
This is my gift to your gina
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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