We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
