why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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