they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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