He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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