Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
