I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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