**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
