And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
