All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
