sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize