Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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