He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
