he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
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If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
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I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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