420 ftw
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
