Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
