I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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