Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
