I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
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my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
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That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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