he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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