she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
