there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
