she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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