Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
