I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
