do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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