she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
