I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
