"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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